“B\u00f6yle kendi k\u00f6\u015femde manevi y\u00f6nden \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, \u00e7evremden, ger\u00e7ek ya\u015famdan kopmu\u015f, kendi yer alt\u0131 d\u00fcnyamda kendi yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m nefrete bo\u011fulmu\u015f olarak, ya\u015fama nas\u0131l yan \u00e7izdi\u011fimi uzun uzad\u0131ya anlatman\u0131n ne gere\u011fi var sanki?” Ben hasta bir adam\u0131m… Topraktan ve halk\u0131n temelinden kopmu\u015f… Kendi kendime ser\u00fcvenler uydurur… ya\u015fama oyunlar\u0131 oynard\u0131m… \u0130\u00e7imdeki s\u00fcrekli kayna\u015fmay\u0131 d\u0131\u015f etkilerle bast\u0131rmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m……D\u00fcnyada ikinci derecedeki bir rol\u00fc kendime yak\u0131\u015ft\u0131ram\u0131yor, bu nedenle de ikinci olmaktansa sonuncu olmaya seve seve katlan\u0131yordum… \u00c7amurlar i\u00e7inde debelenirken bile, “bir g\u00fcn gelecek kahraman olaca\u011f\u0131m” diye avutuyordum kendimi… Hay\u00e2llerle oyalan\u0131yorum… \u00f6teden beriden, ozanlardan, romanc\u0131lardan kapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m kusursuz hayat sahnelerini istedi\u011fim gibi bozup de\u011fi\u015ftirebiliyordum bu hay\u00e2llerimde… Yery\u00fcz\u00fcnde ger\u00e7ek hi\u00e7bir varl\u0131kla ili\u015fkisi olmayan, bu t\u00fcm\u00fcyle hay\u00e2l \u00fcr\u00fcn\u00fc olan a\u015fklar\u0131m ruhumu o denli c\u00f6mert\u00e7e doyuruyordu ki, sonradan ger\u00e7ek bir a\u015fka en ufak bir gereksinme duymuyordum. Do\u011frusu, ger\u00e7ekte var olan birini sevmek benim i\u00e7in l\u00fcks olurdu…\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizler, az ya da \u00e7ok, ya\u015fama al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 yitirmi\u015f, aksak aksak y\u00fcr\u00fcmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015fan insanlar\u0131z. Hem de as\u0131l “ger\u00e7ek ya\u015famdan” i\u011frenecek, onun ad\u0131n\u0131 bile i\u015fitmek istemeyecek kadar yabanc\u0131la\u015fm\u0131\u015f\u0131zd\u0131r. Bu yad\u0131rgamay\u0131, as\u0131l ger\u00e7ek ya\u015fam’\u0131 bir i\u015f, bir g\u00f6rev sayacak, bu ya\u015fam\u0131 bir kitaptan \u00f6\u011frenmeyi her \u015feyden \u00fcst\u00fcn tutacak kadar da ileri g\u00f6t\u00fcrm\u00fc\u015f\u00fczd\u00fcr i\u015fi… Bizler \u00f6l\u00fc do\u011fmu\u015fuz, zaten \u00e7oktand\u0131r canl\u0131 say\u0131lmayan babalar\u0131n soyundan do\u011fmu\u015fuz ve bu durum da gitgide daha \u00e7ok ho\u015fumuza gidiyor. Bundan bir zevk pay\u0131 bile \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yoruz. Hatt\u00e2 neredeyse d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncelerin bizleri do\u011furmas\u0131n\u0131 sa\u011flayaca\u011f\u0131z… Biz bug\u00fcn canl\u0131l\u0131k denen \u015feyin nerede bulundu\u011funu, neyin nesi oldu\u011funu, hangi adla \u00e7a\u011fr\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bile bilmiyoruz… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“B\u00f6yle kendi k\u00f6\u015femde manevi y\u00f6nden \u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f, \u00e7evremden, ger\u00e7ek ya\u015famdan kopmu\u015f, kendi yer alt\u0131 d\u00fcnyamda kendi yaratt\u0131\u011f\u0131m nefrete bo\u011fulmu\u015f olarak, ya\u015fama nas\u0131l yan \u00e7izdi\u011fimi uzun uzad\u0131ya anlatman\u0131n [\u2026]<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"featured_media":0,"template":"","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"product_brand":[],"product_cat":[12291,13570],"product_tag":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-700109","1":"product","2":"type-product","3":"status-publish","5":"product_cat-edebiyat","6":"product_cat-rus-edebiyati","7":"pa_cilt-ciltsiz","8":"pa_tur-dergi","9":"pa_yayinevi-dogu-bati-yayinlari","10":"pa_yazar-fyodor-mihaylovic-dostoyevski","12":"first","13":"instock","14":"sale","15":"shipping-taxable","16":"purchasable","17":"product-type-simple"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/roveyayinevi.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product\/700109","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/roveyayinevi.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/roveyayinevi.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/product"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/roveyayinevi.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=700109"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"product_brand","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/roveyayinevi.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product_brand?post=700109"},{"taxonomy":"product_cat","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/roveyayinevi.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product_cat?post=700109"},{"taxonomy":"product_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/roveyayinevi.com.tr\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/product_tag?post=700109"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}